Recovering from a loss: missing repos

Do me a favor. In six months time or so… when you’ve calmed down and have fully divorced yourself from all of the feelings you are having now (hopefully)… come back to this thread and read it again with new eyes. Perhaps it will be a little harder to spot the “ridicule” by then.

And maybe you would be a little less critical of someone that single handedly resurrected a dead server - switched off - bill unpaid - to a modern website with a software store, development kit, 50+ repositories that are of significant importance, a development kit, created income, layed out future plans, created a team, promoted critical members, provided servers for others projects and god knows what else. Single handedly. On my own. In 12 months.

And after all that - with zero support from yourself - I chose to leave - which I have absolutely every right to do may I add(!) - I leave everything I ever did with you bar none! - and you decide encourage the hate, jump on the band wagon and give the dog a sly kick while you’re there.

I don’t have to put up with accusations of mis-use of funding. I don’t have to put up with constant insistence I’m doing it wrong by someone with a clear lack of experience with servers and websites. I am free to walk away if I don’t like it. I put up with it for long enough and i am absolutely free to leave. That’s exactly what I did. The person in question that led me to leave is now in charge of everything he deemed I was doing wrong. Maybe had you been as vocal in those conversations as you are in my leaving things would have been different. But as usual I was alone in that endeavour, too.

I am unhappy about leaving - you’re not wrong - but you’re way off the mark as to why. I feel that way because I had the best of intentions and spent a lot of time, effort and my own personal money getting the project to where it is - endless discussions with my wife justifying why I spent so much time sat on a PC - because I believed it could be something special - and for the most part it was. I left of my own accord. It was too much. It was clear then I was on my own, and all the more clear now. There’s no other angle of frustration or any other negative aspect. No knife twisting. No attempts to mess anything up. Had I wanted to I could have destroyed everything bar none. Everything gone in the click of a button. I didn’t. I left it ALL to you. ALL. Everything. I simply exhausted every avenue of positivity I had in me. I chose to walk away. But fuck me, right?

You are the voice of JME, Paul, whether you like it or not. What’s done is done, but if I were you I would seriously consider using that position in a far more positive and productive manner in the future. Negativity breeds negativity, and it starts from the top. I blame nobody for exhausting myself. I am my own leader. But you lead this rabble. So lead. Preferably by example.

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For the community’s benefit, most of these conversations happened in a mostly-private discord channel that I have muted. I only found them after the fact when Jay disappeared without notice and so I went digging.

I’ve tried to be professional in these threads. You read it differently. That’s your prerogative.

…except the private and semi-private conversations I had with folks defending you. Not all support comes in the form of code. You were very motivated and I encouraged folks to see how things panned out despite reservations about how you react to conflict in some areas.

I don’t know where this comes from. I’m trying to collect things in one place. Folks are upset that things disappeared without warning… just like you are upset about being taken for granted. Feelings are feelings. Someone was panicking about making sure they fork every project they ever use so I reassured everyone that I would not delete my projects and backed it up with evidence of such. I don’t know where the hate encouragement is or the sly kicks. I’m just trying to pick up the pieces of a less than ideal transition.

I’ve tried to be as measured as possible in my responses, going so far as to delete my first two attempts and start over in some cases. I’ve even shut down off topic griping in this thread suggesting there is a better place for venting emotion.

If other community members think I was off the mark in this or the other thread then I hope they let me know.

Otherwise, it looks like we’re collecting all of the links necessary in one place and your great contributions will live on. And that was the original intent of this thread.