Satire: If game development was woodworking


I’ve played piano for about 3 years and I think I understand it pretty well. I’ve played lots of songs and stuff. I really like the piano and thought I would like to make my own.

Today I went out and bought a saw (a metal one) and some chisels. I once chopped some wood with an axe a bunch of times so I’m sort of familiar with wood already. I’m ready to take it to the next level!!!11!

So I totally want to start my piano project right now but I have some simple questions for you guys:

  1. is there some place I can get decent wood for free? I have some logs already.
  2. Will I be able to use my axe for this project? Can someone recommend some other tools? (Preferably free, lol)
  3. What kind of wood should I use? I remember seeing that there are some reddish ones and some whitish ones but I don’t know which is best.
  4. Do I use nails or screws?
  5. Is there a free glue recipe?

Also, the little hammers in the piano really confuse me. Can someone make me one so I can copy it a few times? Lots of pictures would also be good… and perhaps a detailed explanation.

Oh, and now that I think about it, how do you bend the sides and stuff? My piano is something called a “baby grand” (though I could make a grand piano too if that’s too hard) and I’d like to make something like it with just a few mods.

That’s it! The rest should be no problem for me.



It’s great that you are excited to get started in wood working but it seems pretty clear that you are just getting started. I really recommend you try some simpler wood working projects first. Build a few bird houses… move up to a table and then some chairs. You will be on your way in no time flat.



Man, why do you have to insult me? I know plenty about wood. You don’t even know!

What the hell am I going to do with a bunch of bird houses?!? I just want to make a piano. Don’t crush my dreams!


Yup, that’s pretty much how programmers interpret a lot of requests on this formum

Good story :slight_smile:
Unfortunately, most people who would be in NewMornWood’s place, did not understand that analogy.

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