Satire: If game development was woodworking

NewMornWood:

I’ve played piano for about 3 years and I think I understand it pretty well. I’ve played lots of songs and stuff. I really like the piano and thought I would like to make my own.

Today I went out and bought a saw (a metal one) and some chisels. I once chopped some wood with an axe a bunch of times so I’m sort of familiar with wood already. I’m ready to take it to the next level!!!11!

So I totally want to start my piano project right now but I have some simple questions for you guys:

  1. is there some place I can get decent wood for free? I have some logs already.
  2. Will I be able to use my axe for this project? Can someone recommend some other tools? (Preferably free, lol)
  3. What kind of wood should I use? I remember seeing that there are some reddish ones and some whitish ones but I don’t know which is best.
  4. Do I use nails or screws?
  5. Is there a free glue recipe?

Also, the little hammers in the piano really confuse me. Can someone make me one so I can copy it a few times? Lots of pictures would also be good… and perhaps a detailed explanation.

Oh, and now that I think about it, how do you bend the sides and stuff? My piano is something called a “baby grand” (though I could make a grand piano too if that’s too hard) and I’d like to make something like it with just a few mods.

That’s it! The rest should be no problem for me.

15 Likes

KnowsWhatsUpChuck:

It’s great that you are excited to get started in wood working but it seems pretty clear that you are just getting started. I really recommend you try some simpler wood working projects first. Build a few bird houses… move up to a table and then some chairs. You will be on your way in no time flat.

9 Likes

NewMornWood:

Man, why do you have to insult me? I know plenty about wood. You don’t even know!

What the hell am I going to do with a bunch of bird houses?!? I just want to make a piano. Don’t crush my dreams!

10 Likes

Yup, that’s pretty much how programmers interpret a lot of requests on this formum

Good story :slight_smile:
Unfortunately, most people who would be in NewMornWood’s place, did not understand that analogy.

1 Like