That’s the part I sorta look forward to. I like math.
Off topic, I told (or typed out) this joke today at school and nobody got it (people and their lack of programming knowledge):
[java]
public float getAddSubtract(float x, float y) {
return x + y;
return x - y;
}
[/java]
When I was done, I slapped my knee and said “Get it?”
I got some pretty blank stares.
First thing that came to mind: “Maybe this is why I sit alone at lunch.”
1 Like
@vinexgames said:
That's the part I sorta look forward to. I like math.
Off topic, I told (or typed out) this joke today at school and nobody got it (people and their lack of programming knowledge):
[java]
public float getAddSubtract(float x, float y) {
return x + y;
return x - y;
}
[/java]
When I was done, I slapped my knee and said "Get it?"
I got some pretty blank stares.
First thing that came to mind: "Maybe this is why I sit alone at lunch."
I'm afraid I don't get it either. My brain can't work past the syntax error, I guess.
@pspeed said:
I'm afraid I don't get it either. My brain can't work past the syntax error, I guess.
Well, sarcasm is difficult to get across the internet but if you weren't being sarcastic that's the point. The second return statement is unreachable. *slaps knee*
I need better jokes. ._.
@vinexgames said:
Well, sarcasm is difficult to get across the internet but if you weren't being sarcastic that's the point. The second return statement is unreachable. *slaps knee*
I need better jokes. ._.
So any syntax error would qualify for a joke then?
Kind of like a "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke, I guess... but maybe a bit less funny. ;)
I think it could have been funny if the “unreachable” part was used as part of the joke.
[java]
public void workHard() {
System.out.println( “Grind grind grind” );
return;
achievePerfection();
}
[/java]
Or something… just off the top of my head. Also acceptable perhaps nirvana(), enlightment(), etc.
Or something like:
[java]
public class Foo {
{int ninja;}
public static void main( String… args ) {
System.out.println( “Gotcha:” + ninja );
}
}
[/java]
“Symbol not found ninja”
Well, played, ninja… well played.
I may be too tired.
4 Likes
I find those funny. 
Here are a few better ones:
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”
Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
A Cobol programmer made so much money doing Y2K remediation that he was able to have himself cryogenically frozen when he died. One day in the future, he was unexpectedly resurrected.
When he asked why he was unfrozen, he was told:
“It’s the year 9999 - and you know Cobol”
http://crossthebreeze.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/feature.jpg
2 Likes
How about this:
How did the programmer die in the shower?
He read the label of the shampoo bottle; lather, rinse, repeat.
I couldn’t stop laughing when I heard that one.
2 Likes