Rediscovered one of my all time favourite websites today - very English humour, but im still in tears now. Some pages better than others, but the classified adds crack me up
Maybe its just me - but enjoy 
http://www.framleyexaminer.com/pages/clas001.html
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and says, "Can I join you?".
hehe good one
Management lessons:
nr1:
An engineer, a secretary and their manager are having lunch when a genie appears. The genie grants each of them a wish. The engineer goes first: "I want to be on vacation in Egypt!". And Poof! off he goes. Then the secretary: "I want to spend the week shopping in Paris!" and off she goed as well. Next is the manager's turn: "I want both of them back in office after lunch break is over".
Moral: always let the boss go first.
nr2:
A new recruit arrives at a military base in the desert. The commander gives him a tour of the base. At the last tent the commander blushes a little before giving the explanation. "In this tent there is a camel. As you may have noticed there are no women in this camp. Unfortunatly most men here can't… hold in that long. So we use the camel to…"
"I will never do such a thing" the recruit interrupts him.
"Well that's good".
However after a few days later the urge starts becoming stronger, after several weeks he finally gives in. He asks the commander about the camel. "I'm sorry it's booked for today, but I'll note you down for tomorrow". So the next day the recruit goes to the tent, goes behind the camel and pulls down his pants. At that moment the commander comes in, sees him and yells: "I understand the need is high but can't you use the camel to go to the nearest city like everybody else does?"
Moral: always listen to everything your boss sais.
nr3:
A man takes a shower right after his wife left it, the doorbell rings, the wife wraps her towel around herself and opens up the door. It's the neighboor. He looks at her and sais: 100 dollar if you drop that towel right now. The woman decides to drop the towel and indeed receives the 100 dollar. She goed back to her husband who aks: "who was that?" she replies "The neighbor" so he asks "Did he mention anything about the 100 dollar he owns me?"
Moral: share important information with your colleagues to avoid painful situations
wish could participate in this, but I,m pretty sure most of u wont get Caribbben humour and it preety much looses effect without the dialect anyways…
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Shakespeare Regex:
/(bb|[^b]{2})/
…that is the question?